No idea what is going to happen...

I have not talked to her in over a week. Im getting over her. But im also worried about her at the same time, and im worried about our friendship. I can get over her to the point where it will not be a problem for her anymore, but I dont know whats going on with her and it worries me as well. I cant loose her as a friend so Im hoping everyday that I dont because i dont know what im going to do. =[ I have been spending allot od time with other friends that I have neglected lately so that has been fun, and as long as I have something to do I can keep the bad feelings away. But if I start to get really bored or I lay awake by myself for too long at night I start to think. I think and I worry about what is going to happen. If after all of this I will get my best friend back... I worry about what is going on with her and how she is doing. I dont care as much that she wants me to get over her anymore, I knew that it was probably going to happen eventually. So i guess you could say im kind of acepting it in a way. But that doesnt mean that I like it, I know it has to happen but its hurting me so much... sometimes all i do is scream.. and scream... and scream into my pillow because it is all that I can think of to do. I swore to myself at the beigning of this that I was not going to hurt myself and I havnt, and im going to stick to that. There is not point in hurting myself. I need to get through this even though it hurts... the worst pain I have had in a long time. But im staying possitive and Im going to get through it. I know this probably sounds like a whole fuck of allot of rambling but it helps allot. And I really cannot explain why. =] I can do this and I can get through it I just am hoping with all my fucking heart that she will talk to me again when this is done i miss her so much as a friend. That is what is driving me to get over her. The fact that hopfully we can be friends again cause shes one of the most awesome people I have ever met in my entire fucking life and no one is gonna get me to talk bad about her even if she is hurting me (they know who they are). anyways heres a song that I have been listening to allot and it makes me happy and gets me moving, its also great to lift to^^



Favortie verse from it

To die unsung would really bring you down
Although wet eyes would never suit you
Walk through no archetypal suicide
Die young is far too boring these days